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Thursday 5 May 2016


For anyone into their text adventures, the name Steve Meretzky means a lot. He was the lead designer on many classic Infocom games including Planetfall, A Mind Forever Voyaging and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - each one an absolute gem. The Space Bar, a 1997 graphic adventure developed by his co-founded company Boffo Games, was to be his last major game...

The Space Bar was to be Boffo Games second title after their well-received 1994 release Hodj & Podj. After three years in development, it was released amid little fanfare by SegaSoft. Consequently, it became a financial failure despite some solid reviews which lead to the company's unfortunate demise. Meretzky would continue working in the industry at WorldWinner but it appears their entire catalogue consists of nothing but shovelware.

The Space Bar has since grown a little in stature, being revered by adventure enthusiasts and even appearing in Just Adventure's top 100 games of all time. That being said, I've never really got on with this game. I first played it sometime in the late 90s at a time when I was in awe with CGI creations and flocked to any game that featured them. The pre-rendered graphics weren't exactly groundbreaking in 1997 but it had a style that I just loved. I installed the game and was excited by the intro but I couldn't get to grips with the actual game.

You begin the game in a nefarious bar tasked with solving a murder, but everything is open to you. You can talk to anyone and everyone and even enter their memories for a bit, but there's a strict time limit which means you've little time to explore or experiment - a design flaw that kills the game for me. After a short amount of time not really getting anywhere, I gave up and uninstalled it from my 1-gigabyte hard drive (it sounded like so much back then!).

Years later, after spending so much time getting the damn thing working again, I was determined to give it more of a chance. The longer I played, the more I began to appreciate what Metezky does so well - writing. The script is often hilarious with some fascinating characters, each with quirky personalities and interesting motivations. Where once I was impatient, wishing they would shut up so I could continue the actual game, I now relish these conversations. Then I realised the game was not so directionless as I thought.

You are Alias Node, a human police officer on the planet fittingly known as Armpit VI. On patrol one night you and your alien partner named Maksh witness a fellow cop's murder by a shape-shifting criminal. Your superior officer sends you both undercover to a space bar named The Thirsty Tentacle, a local establishment known for playing host to some dodgy patrons. If you talk to any single character for long enough, you will be able to use your Empathy Telepathy Training and enter their memories to gather more clues and find out which one is your culprit. These memories, which are the crux of the game, are like little adventure games in themselves. It's a brilliant concept that makes me want to truly explore the minds of each individual were it not for that pesky time limit demanding that I shouldn't. Time doesn't advance like a clock or timer but instead progresses with each click of the mouse. I suppose a click-limit would be a more accurate way to describe it. Its existence is to give the world a sense of reality by simulating agency within all characters, not just your own. They're not just sitting there waiting for you to talk to them but seemingly have their own preoccupations. Or they do when you reach a certain number of clicks.

The memories you inhabit are each unique and filled with invention. Whether you are an immovable sentient tree or a an insectoid with multi-vision, each point of view has been treated with a lot of care and attention. So too are the aliens themselves. They're created by Ron Cobb, a creature designer best known for the cantina scene in Star Wars. While the animation now looks a bit jerky due to the game's age and budget, they each have a believability in the crazy world in which they exist.

While playing, you can tell Meretzky has a background in the text adventure. There's a lot of well-written dialogue in an interestingly offbeat environment. The tone reminds me of his earlier games with some devious puzzles that almost reach moon logic proportions. But like his best of adventures, there is a logic to them and it's fun trying to figure out what it is.

I found almost everything in this game to be of high quality filled with entertainingly quirky moments. The only thing that lets it down - and it does so in a major way - is the time limit. For a game that invites you to see all that the crazy sights have to offer, it actively punishes you for wanting to do so. It's a badly implemented mechanic that ruins an otherwise excellent, well-written game.

As of 28rd October 2022, the The Space Bar is now available to buy on Zoom Platform.

Buy on Zoom Platform

The Space Bar is © Boffo Games / SegaSoft
Review, Cover Design and Installer created by me

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  1. First of all, thanks for the game!
    I've installed it in a PC Windows 7 64 bits, but I couldn't play it. It starts Windows 95, but not the game, even when I click in the icon of the game inside W95.
    Any solution?
    Thanks in advance,

    1. Hello ender.

      It takes an awful lot of computing power for DOSBox to emulate Windows 95. It's an unofficial port called DOSBox Daum which isn't particularly optimised or free of bugs. Before upgrading to my new PC, I had some trouble with win 95 games. They'd run but could be very slow.

      As you can get to the Win95 desktop I expect it installed correctly. My installation works fine so I suggest perhaps waiting a while to see if anything comes up. Closing other applications may also help.

      Other suggestions would be playing around with the DOSBOX.conf. Open it in notepade to edit. Scroll down to output=openglnb and see if changing it to ddraw or direct3d helps at all. Those are the only other options for this that'll work for Win95 games, though make sure you back the file up first.

    2. Hello Biffman 101,
      Finally I got it! I didn't need to edit the DOSBOX.conf. and I didn't need to wait so much. It's just that I reinstalled it again (third time) and at last the game started! So no sure the reason now is working, but welcome!
      Anyway thanks for your quick answer and your wonderful work with all these good games.

  2. This is late, but I wanted to say thank you very much - I haven't played this game in 20 years and it seemed like with every new Windows revision it'd get worse and worse and be plagued with greater problems. Thank you for providing this option - I got it running with little issue and it was amazing just dinking around in the Thisty Tentacle again. My inner 11 year old thanks you for the memories.

  3. AliasNodeForever17 October 2019 at 20:38

    Cannot thank you enough, have been waiting to play this for decades and Win10/DosBox spun it up perfectly. Unbelievable the trouble that i have to go through to get some games to work, and this was flawless. Very much appreciated, keep up the great work!

  4. I thank you for this, but seems the sound isn't working I will see what I can do, but please if you have any tips on the malfunction please let me know, thank you.

  5. buy for ten phuking dollars? youve lost it dude

  6. hey there in your original upload of the game you had the cdrom as ISO put "inside" a .img file (acting as a hdd/partition in the guest win95) .. now since this option (dosbox daun) is way faster performing than the alternative for 3dfx virtualization ("PCEM" + i wont buy current hardware just for that) ..i am wondering : can you somehow replace the spacebar ISO w/ other ISOs at all? i tried "image tools", idont know whether you could edit the container file (.img) or else you had to create a whole new img file w/ your content, what would you suggest ?