THE CROW: CITY OF ANGELS

3-D fighting with a vengeance.

They killed you. But you came back. An avenging angel from beyond the grave. A vigilante reborn to bring justice to the damned. Take your unearthly powers and wreak vengeance on Judah, L.A.'s drug king, Kali, the nin-jitsu death-bitch, Curve, Spider-Monkey and an army of lowlife thugs... Because live after death is hell.

• Hunt for the damned through a 3D labyrinth of seedy streets!
• No obstacle will stop your unearthly quest for vengeance!
• The swift kick of justice!
• Explore the dark, ominous world of the City of Angels.
• Clear your path to Judah with shotguns, uzis, and molotov cocktails!

~ from the back of the box

 
Can a game be so-bad-it's good? For me, it depends of what we're talking about. Poorly handled cutscenes and an out-there storyline could fit into this category (Terror Trax anyone?). Strange puzzle logic can too, I guess (take your only bow, Gord@k). But what about the kind of games that live or die on a single core game mechanic. Could a beat-'em-up, for example, be so bad it's good? We're about to find out as we take a look into The Crow: City of Angels...

Released in 1997 for PlayStation, Saturn and for Windows '95 (which will be the focus for this review), this movie tie-in to The Crow sequel is notoriously bad. At its heart, it's a 3D beat-'em-up but going by how it looks and plays you might be forgiven in thinking it more of a Resident Evil clone. Despite the somewhat competent pre-rendered background art and polygonal characters would have you believe, this game is all about fighting. But when you have nothing else, the fighting better be good. It is absolutely not here. In fact, I'd say it's one of the most terribly implemented fighting systems I've ever seen in a game. And part of the reason why is that even in its controls it feels like a Resident Evil clone too.

The death masks dropped by defeated enemies increase your health. If you can get to them in time (left).

Weapons do extra damage, but you will be left vulnerable should you want to pick one up (right).

Our main character, Ashe, has witnessed a murder and the criminal gang behind it murder him and his son to silence them. The fantastical Crow chooses Ashe to return to the living as an undead super being of sorts determined to wreak revenge. He does this using tank controls. Best to give up now. Our goth king can kick and punch as well as use any weapon he might have in hand, but the movements are so sluggish and the hit detection so needlessly imprecise that defeating enemies are just not fun. And being a beat-'em-up, that's the entire game. You could be right next to a multitude of thug - so lose that you clip into them - yet a roundhouse kick will not make contact. I found myself tapping left and right hoping each time that I'd be in a more favourable position but it's a fools errand. Ashe is slow and sluggish and the gameplay style they're going for doesn't mesh with the cinematic camera angles.

What also doesn't mesh well is the odd and out-of-place platform moments. These have Ashe shimmy across electricity wires or swing on chandeliers but these rely on trial-and-error timing that any actual skill. Even so, the designers still added hazards to make them more difficult and annoying. The wires, for example, have static pulses coursing through them like a Mario game and in order to avoid them, you'll have to shift from one wire to the other else die in the pit below. Thankfully, I had enough health left to make it to the other side without doing any of this awkward nonsense, but that doesn't mean death got to me many times elsewhere.

Once all enemies are defeated, the crow glyphs will show you where to go next (left).

This is particularly good in areas where you cannot see the exit otherwise (right).

When you die, you will be treated with one of the most depressing game over cutscenes ever conceived; that of your dead son fresh from the afterlife telling you that you will never see each other again. The birth or Emo right there! To avoid this bad ending, you will have to rely on pick-ups 'cos skill ain't gonna do much for ya. After some enemies die, they will leave behind a floating face mask that will slowly disappear. Make it to them in time and Ashe's health will raise by a short amount accompanied by the cawing of a crow. They're not all easy to get to in time, and Ashe's movement is very slow. You can hold down a key to run, but if another enemy is nearby you will automatically be locked into a fighting stance you cannot get out of. With your arms up and legs hunched, this stance is far slower that even your basic walking speed. Not only will this make it almost impossible to head over to health before it disappears, it will also make picking up weapons mid-fight pointless. 

If you're lucky enough to safely go through the slow pick-up animation to gain access to a weapon, your punch button will now use it. You have access to quite the arsenal, including knives, guns and crow bars (naturally). Alas, you cannot keep them. Ashe does not have an inventory and will lose whatever he's carrying when he gets knocked over - much like all the other scrolling beat-'em-ups out there. If you manage to keep a hold of your gun, merely walking over ammo will give you more rounds but I found the best way to get any hits in is by kicking. And hoping. And if they have a gun, it's only a matter of time.

The camera angles are poorly thought out, oftentimes forcing you to fight behind the HUD (left).

Pressing F11 will cycle through the 3D graphic options. Unsure why the face is left untouched (right).

Once all of the enemies in a given area have been downed, the crow will begin to caw and bird-shaped symbols on the ground will appear to show you the way ahead. They need to be there as the nothing about the backgrounds give you any clues. The camera angles are awkwardly placed, and the low resolution does it no favours when in particularly dark areas. You will see corridors or doorways that you think you can go down but can't, and seemingly locked off areas where you can.

So The Crow: City of Angels is bad. Very bad. But I'd like to spend the rest of this review musing on what could have been. While certainly an action film, The Crow franchise also has elements of a detective noir. Could the addition investigative puzzles and non-combative NPCs found in an adventure game or survival horror hide the short comings of its combat system? With a drastically reduced encounter rate and a decent inventory and weapon management system I think it might. Alas, all this game is is an incredibly bad brawler. And not in the so-bad-it's-good way.

To download the game, follow the link below. This custom installer exclusive to The Collection Chamber uses the DOSBox-X build of DOSBox 0.74 running Windows '95. Read the ChamberNotes.txt for more detailed information. Tested on Windows 10.

IMPORTANT - Remember to shut down the emulated version of Windows before exiting DOSBox. This could potentially result in errors, lost saves and corrupt data. The program will automatically shut down when you exit the game.

File Size: 350 Mb.  Install Size: 584 Mb.  Need help? Consult the Collection Chamber FAQ

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The Crow: City of Angels is © Acclaim Entertainment & Bad Bird Productions
Review, Cover Design and Installer created by me

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